NBA Playoffs

The NBA Playoffs are here and will be until late June! That means defense makes an appearance for all 48 minutes for the first time in 82 games. The Boston Celtics locked down the 1 seed in the Eastern Conference, as possibly the most vulnerable and weakest #1 of all time. When your star player and only playmaker is 5 foot nothing (the size of polarizing Notre Dame underdog “Rudy” Ruettiger) that is going to be a problem. In the Western Conference, the Golden State Warriors are the #1 seed and are 50 light years away from the Celtics in terms of talent.

Let’s do a NBA Playoffs preview.

I stopped myself from going into a fit of rage about the Celtics. But now, I can’t stop-won’t stop. They have a brilliant boy genius coach in Brad Stevens. They play solid, hard-nosed basketball. They are a completely likeable working-class team. Yet as a company that was formed in NYC before becoming a global transportation manager, we’re unable to cheer for them. They’re overachievers and they should have been a .500 team. Frankly, they are wasting our time because they have zero percent chance of winning the title. They face the Chicago Bulls who were an incredibly frustrating, underachieving team this year with a gaggle of difficult personalities and a horrendous coach in Fred Hoiberg. Hoiberg is also known as “The Mayor” after receiving several write-in votes during the 1993 Ames, Iowa mayoral race. But “National TV” Rondo, Playoff Wade, and Jimmy “Don’t call me James” Butler are mean men, who will take it to the Celts. Bulls in 5!

The Cleveland Cavs are going to pat the Indianapolis Pacers on the back and say, “That’s cute, now please get out of our way.” Sweep!

Memphis Grizzlies against the San Antonio Spurs – cagey vets running amok! Love both these teams – I’m smitten with their heart and style of play. Sad to see one of them go. Talent and coaching wins out. Spurs in 6.

Milwaukee Bucks versus the Toronto Raptors. The Greek Freak unleashes mythological hell on the Raptors and take down the Canadians.

Golden State dismantles the Portland Trailblazers. They might even rest their entire team. Get them brooms!

The Houston Rockets take on the Oklahoma City Westbrooks. Watching James Harden play basketball is about as fun as washing your hair with salmonella. He drives the lane, pretends he was stabbed, hits two free throws. Rinse and repeat. Russ in a maniacal player, more talented than anyone I have ever seen, yet an impossible teammate who somehow makes them all worse. Rockets play some semblance of team basketball. Rockets in 6, I guess.

Washington professional basketball team versus the Atlanta Hawks. Footage not found. Anytime the Hawks are involved no one cares. Also DC needs better nicknames for all its teams, the Wizards? I don’t think so. Their NFL team name – not a great look. The Nationals and Caps? We get it, you’re like the capital of the country or something.

Utah Jazz versus The Los Angeles Clippers. Rudy Gobert got injured in game one. It’s over. He’s the heart and soul of the team, and should be defensive player of the year. Chris Paul will take over with no rim protector. Clip ship in 6.

Final NBA Playoffs prediction:

The end of the trilogy - Cavs take down the Warriors again! Lebron is rested, they are playing solid team basketball and are going to bully the Warriors. King James gets his 4th ring. We’ll meet here again soon to see if all (or none) of my predictions about the NBA Playoffs come true.

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For additional information on the NBA Playoffs, you can find everything you need to know over at this website:

Jeremy Milikow